Mothers and their kids belong to a different category entirely. No other bond in the entire world is as strong as theirs. No love is ever so immediate and forgiving. Gail Tsukiyama.
The mother-daughter bond is nuanced, marked by both enduring love and fleeting disdain.
We transition from honoring our mothers and never leaving their side to questioning their very existence and resenting their counsel and admonitions. After missing them for a while, we start to comprehend and empathize with them, and eventually we start to revere them once more, yearning for their insight and experience.
Many people warned me as a child that I would despise my mother throughout my adolescence and that I would eventually come to despise her very existence.
That day did come, and it lasted through a few trying years until I went away to college. Then, missing her brought on stifled emotions as well as a new respect and admiration for someone I had previously wished to escape from.
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I finally realized why she kept reminding me to tie my shoes and bring an umbrella. I realized why she kept asking me about my homework and insisted I participate in all those pointless summer camp activities.
I realized that she loved me, which is why she never permitted me to have boys in my room or go on trips to Punta Cana with my friends.
We cling to anyone who is even a little bit kind as we leave the nest, believing with joy that we are moving on to better things, realizing how rare and wonderful a mother’s love is.
There aren’t many people who will accept you unconditionally, flaws and all. Nothing available will offer that kind of unwavering, uncritical love.
I’ve learned through failed romantic and platonic relationships that people are not always trustworthy in this world. No matter how close a friendship may be, friends change. Men most definitely don’t love you the way they say they do, and nobody can really keep a secret.
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While having friends is wonderful and important, your mother will always be the only stable and reliable source of love you will ever experience. She is the only person who will always be available to take your call in the middle of the night. Only she genuinely wants to know about every detail of your day.
Since you don’t like sushi, she will be the one to choose restaurants. The only person who actually pays attention when you speak is her, and she doesn’t mind staying to watch you try on jeans for four hours.
People also told me that I would one day be close friends with my mother during the days I was full of disdain and misguided rage. One day, we would converse over drinks and tell tales just like the mother-daughter pairs in all of Diane Keaton’s movies.
I told them that they were mistaken and that our relationship was not like the ones in those children’s books.
Age did, however, bring wisdom, and wisdom did bring appreciation. This gratitude developed into respect, which then grew into friendship. My mother has always been, and always will be, my best friend, I realized as the years went by and those close relationships I had hoped would uphold some sort of familial archetype started to fall apart.
You call her first when you have good news.
As soon as you have bad news, you call her.
Only with her can you actually go shopping.
No matter how far you are, she will always travel to see you.
She’ll sing to you first when the clock strikes midnight and she won’t ever forget your birthday.
If something doesn’t suit you, she will be upfront about it.
When you are acting like a brat, she will let you know.
She will listen to both your dramatic and endless stories.
If you wear the same outfit three days in a row, she won’t judge you.
Even if her recommendations don’t match your preferences, she always has sound advice.
She always has your best interests in mind.
Because you are the most significant person in her life, she would never mistreat you in the name of a man.
Even though you incur monthly overage fees, she pays your cell phone bill.
She is aware of your favorite (and least favorite) foods.
She won’t hold a grudge or harbor any resentment toward you.
She will make an impulsive purchase for you if she thinks you’ll enjoy it.
She will let you know if you are gaining weight, but no matter what your weight is, she will still tell you that you are beautiful.
She won’t mind if she doesn’t enjoy the preview and ends up nodding off while you watch a movie.
The only person whose daily texts you can depend on is hers.
When you become too drunk to drive yourself home, she will be available.
She is the one to whom you can without fear of retaliation boast about your successes and express regret for your errors.
No matter if you have the flu or the common cold, she will put everything on hold to be at your beck and call.
She will encourage you to stick with your passions and will support your interests.
No matter how many times you assure her that nothing is wrong, she is the one who can always tell when something is off.
She is the only person who is aware of your annoying habits and still cares about you.
At least once every day, she never fails to express her love for you.
When you are too weak to do it yourself, she is the one who confronts your cheating boyfriend.
She is the one who, upon noticing that there is only one cookie left for the two of you, declares that she is already full.
She will go above and beyond, under the most trying circumstances, to ensure your happiness.
When everyone else has left, she is the one who is still next to you.
