Jennette McCurdy really opened her heart in her memoir, I’m Glad My Mother Died, but now she’s continuing to open up even more.
The 31-year-old former actress and author opened up about “what she’s going through right now” in an interview with Teen Vogue for Lemonada Media’s new podcast, “Hard Feelings.” In the podcast, which has five episodes to date, she talks about shame, anger, pressure, bad moods, loyalty and even egg freezing.
Keep reading to see the biggest news from Jennette McCurdy’s ‘Hard Feelings’ podcast…
The Biggest Revelations (So Far) From Jennette McCurdy’s New Podcast ‘Hard Feelings’
On Feeling Shame About Her Two TV Shows
“These show titles, my ears burn when I’m saying them,” she says in the first episode. “It’s like, imagine… I started working on Nickelodeon when I was, i think we did the pilot when I was maybe 13 and we did the show when I was, then we started taping the show when I was 14. But to be known for something I did when I was 13 was very shameful for me. Imagine, for example, whatever you were doing when you were 13, you know, acting in your school play of Peter Pan or playing clarinet, just god-awfully, and imagine you were known for that, every where you went, for the rest of your life.”
“It’s so meaningful to me in such a deep way because I felt like finally, I don’t have to carry that shame of my past,” she adds about the success of her memoir. “Finally, I can be known for something that I do as an adult. Finally, I can be known for writing, the thing that I’d wanted to do since I was a child and was not supported in wanting to do. Finally, I can be supported for me, not for a character. And it kind of washed away that shame, for me.”
The Biggest Revelations (So Far) From Jennette McCurdy’s New Podcast ‘Hard Feelings’
On Wanting to Overcome the Resentment for Being on Those Shows & Not Being Seen as Herself
“I was not accepting that I was feeling resentment, but I was feeling it both toward my mom for not seeing me and toward the audience for not seeing me. The more popular that character got, the more I just feel unseen as Jennette, and fundamentally, I think that was coming from not being able to be with myself, sit with myself, tolerate myself, know myself,” she shared.
“I think a lot of that is modeled by your relationship with your primary caregiver, which was of course my mom, who of course couldn’t see me either. So, I think that’s kind of where I’m at with it. That’s the best I got right now. I’ll keep processing it and I’m going to try and figure out what is it going to take for me to get past Sam, because I would like for if somebody puts the title of a show that I was on when I was a kid in an article, for it to not affect me. That sounds great. I want to be past this, you guys. I want to past this. I’ll do whatever work it takes to grow past it, I really will.”
The biggest revelation (yet) came out on Jennette McCurdy’s new podcast, “Hard Feelings.”
“here’s the next one”
After his book was sent to critics before publication, he added in an email that advance sales alone would be enough to make it onto the New York Times bestseller list. It will appear in your email.
“We had high hopes that he would make the list,” Jennett said. “But when I saw that email and saw that there was some expectation or pressure to get to the top spot, I was very concerned about that. He thought about it.”
“That was all I could think about. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I think I would have cried if I had debuted in second place. I would feel like a failure. “I feel so bad,” he said.
In fact, I’m glad that My Mother Is Dead hit #1 on the New York Times bestseller list and remains on that list to this day.
Jennette McCurdy’s Biggest Reveals on the Hard Feelings Podcast
His book is about feeling good.
The biggest revelation (yet) came out on Jennette McCurdy’s new podcast, “Hard Feelings.”
“here’s the next one”
Jennette McCurdy’s Biggest Reveals on the Hard Feelings Podcast
About you feeling undervalued/underestimated and now I have to prove it to you.
“Let me tell you, feeling like an underdog drove me to work my fu-king ass off. I just had something to prove, had that chip on my shoulder,” she said in episode three. “It informed every decision I knew I was making and even ones I didn’t realize I was making. This just was part of my chemical makeup, it was in everything that I did, and now, I don’t have that narrative to lean on. Now I can’t say, ‘Oh I’m an underdog or I’m undervalued,’ coming off of all the success.”
“It’s like, okay, I’m met with the need to reframe the narrative and in reframing that narrative, find a new driving force because it’s a little outdated and expired.”
“What narrative have I replaced it with, I think it’s I need to do it again… I want to prove to myself that I can do it again,” she adds. “It’s so obvious to me that that’s like the leading, unhealthy driving force in my life, is this desperate need to fu-king prove myself. Frankly, I’m exhausted by it. I am tired of it. I want to know what life would look like if I didn’t feel this constant gnawing need to prove myself.”
The biggest revelation (yet) came out on Jennette McCurdy’s new podcast, “Hard Feelings.”
“here’s the next one”
Jennette McCurdy’s Biggest Reveals on the Hard Feelings Podcast
About cutting ties with your father
In her book, Janet reveals that she found out that her father was not her biological father.
On the podcast, she talked about being emotionally neglected as a child and living with Jennette’s mom’s best friend from high school, who got her phone number at her mom’s funeral. Then he tried to establish a relationship with her.
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“I was trying to have this relationship with my dad despite the fact that I was hurting and seeing him in this relationship with somebody new.”
“It just hurt. My dad never watched any of the things that I did on TV. My mom would force him to go to some of my dance recitals. I’d see him in the audience sleeping every f-cking time, just couldn’t keep his eyes open to see me pirouette a couple times, just couldn’t do it,” she said about his disinterest when she was younger.
“This is a man who couldn’t have been more obvious about his lack of interest in my life, who seems like fascinated by his new stepdaughter and a part of me thought maybe he’s grown as a person and he’s trying to show up in ways that he didn’t for me, and then the other part of me though yeah, but he didn’t show up for me so why am I here showing up for him.”
“I have not talked to my dad in years, one of the best decisions of my life,” she said. “The man’s aging, the man’s going to die. I’m not going to, I won’t see him. I will never see him again and I am so proud of that decision and I genuinely , I’m hopeful that this is inspiring in some way if you’re struggling with a relationship and you’re chained bu the bonds of loyalty. If you’re locked into a relationship with a family member because of loyalty, you owe it to yourself to move on.”
“I do not feel in any way shape or form like I want kids. I cannot imagine a world in which someday I want kids,” she says in episode five.
Even though she doesn’t want kids, she’s still taking steps to freeze her eggs.
“I am also open to my mind changing. I have changed a lot as a person in my years so far and I hope to continue changing. What I don’t want to happen is for me to turn 40 and realize, ‘F–k, I want kids now,’ and I don’t have enough eggs to make it happen.”
The biggest revelation (yet) came out on Jennette McCurdy’s new podcast, “Hard Feelings.”
” face
Jennette McCurdy’s Biggest Reveals on the Hard Feelings Podcast
Even though I didn’t want children, I decided to freeze my eggs.
“I left that appointment horrified. I’m hearing my body is going to look and feel like I’m pregnant. I am going to have difficulties and emotionality, mood swings, and hormonal charges twenty times that of a regular period,” Jennette shared.
He tried to build a relationship with her, but eventually cut her out of his life
“No part of me feels motivated to freeze my eggs when I don’t think I want to be a mom, but what if someday I change my mind?” she admits. “I am trying to bet on my future self wanting a thing that my current self can’t imagine wanting, versus just not doing it and risking that someday I might want it and not be able to do it then – and the regret. I am trying to weigh these options and it’s quite complex.”
The biggest revelation (yet) came out on Jennette McCurdy’s new podcast, “Hard Feelings.”
” face
Jennette McCurdy’s Biggest Reveals on the Hard Feelings Podcast
Even though I didn’t want children, I decided to freeze my eggs.
“I was feeling confronted with aging and who I am now versus who I might be someday and how much I don’t know about my future self. I was just confronted with all these life realities that, frankly, I didn’t feel prepared for – and I still don’t.”
