I’ve never been the kind of girl who gets fixated on the day of her wedding. Just to be clear, I adore the concept of marrying two people to complete a relationship. I salute anyone organizing a wedding.
But I can’t help but sneer at the whole thing. When it comes to wedding planning, it’s not my fault that most of society adheres to the same guidelines. Here are some things I won’t do in advance of my big day because I follow my own rules:.
Pay close attention to every last detail.
I’ll be completely honest here and say that I have no idea what makes one wedding invitation different from another. I typically receive five pieces of mail in a single envelope. I don’t know how to read cursive writing, and the paper feels pricey.
I can promise that just one piece of paper cost hundreds of dollars and took weeks to complete. Then there are the seating arrangements, floral arrangements, linens, and bouquets. (I have just passed out. ).
Turn into Bridezilla.
I am fairly self-aware and am aware that my Type A personality would not function well in the decision-making role of “bride.”.
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When all is said and done with the wedding planning, I want the people I love to still love me. I also want to take pleasure in my engagement. When we could be binge-watching Netflix shows in our sweats, I don’t want to drudge my fiancé to cake tastings and wedding venues.
Take standardized engagement pictures.
I mean, come on, why are you staring into her eyes like that?
I don’t understand why in the woods you’re walking away from the camera.
A dog would be nice.
Confetti, please.
Flannel and unbrushed curls are not what I want.
People, give me something.
Throw Away the Needless Showers.
The most annoying aspect of weddings is probably this. Let alone have people watch me open presents, I don’t want to watch you unwrap presents.
Yes, Susan, I adore the 10-piece cake set and complementary baking pan you gave me. But I think we can all agree that there are more worthwhile activities for us to engage in than eating finger sandwiches and chit-chatting with your aunt from Virginia.
Drag People To A Ceremony That Lasts An Hour.
The wedding scene in “Love, Actually” is incredibly charming to watch. However, attending a real wedding ceremony usually involves wincing as the minister reads Corinthians 13:4, butt sweat, and lots of “awws.”.
Countdown the seconds.
I appreciate you telling me how many days remain until your special day—there are 234 of them. It’s like saying your child is 32 weeks old, I don’t know what that means.
It’s foolish.
When a month has passed, please let me know.
Make it “My” day rather than “our” day.
I take this seriously.
Getting married means that the day is about more than just me.
I have a feeling that he will find today to be just as memorable as I do. I don’t want him to be completely voiceless.
I might not agree with everything he wants to include, I admit that. But if I didn’t let him make some decisions, I’d feel self-centered.
I apologize for organizing the wedding the way I have.
Because of how dysfunctional my family is, which is similar to everyone else’s, they have an impact on how I view the wedding process.
Using social media has made me uninterested in anything traditional. I could run away. I might not send out 200 invitations. I won’t apologize for that though.
Put on a wedding gown.
I won’t be wearing a cupcake on my body, really, which is all this means.
Consider It To Be Everything.
The fact of the matter is that I care far more about what happens after today than anything else. Yes, I do want my wedding day to be memorable and special.
The prelude to my actual marriage, however, is all that it is to me. I haven’t had dreams about my wedding day, but I have had dreams about the person I’ll be sharing it with. I really care about that, you know.
I’ve heard so many people say that they can hardly recall their wedding days when they think back. But they do recall all the anxiety that had preceded them.
I apologize, but that sounds like the worst possible nightmare.
