The lawyers at Slater and Gordon, a significant law firm in the UK, have dubbed the first Monday in January “Divorce Day,” which is arguably the saddest holiday in the nation. They chose to look at the actual reasons for the divorces after they noticed an increase in requests on that particular day. And if you assumed that adultery was the main cause of divorce, you’d be wrong. Money was cited as the main motivator in a survey of 2,000 adults about the conflicts in relationships that resulted in divorce.
Relationship expert Jen Elmquist, MA, LMFT, and author of Relationship Reset: Secrets from a Couples Therapist That Will Revolutionize Your Love for a Lifetime tells Bustle that discussing money can be challenging for couples. “Talking openly about money and sex is one of the most uncomfortable things that couples can do. For a number of reasons, including: It invades their privacy, they feel embarrassed, they feel out of control, they don’t feel educated enough, or they don’t think there is a reason to talk about it, partners may feel like discussing money is taboo. However, discussing your financial health and history is equally as important for each partner as discussing your sexual health and history is. You need to be able to talk about money with your partner, despite the fact that it might feel uncomfortable.
Elmquist claims that without these discussions, assumptions are made, damaging secrets can be kept, and it is impossible to achieve the freedom of being known and accepted. “Financial mismanagement betrayal can be traumatizing and have a similar impact on a relationship as infidelity. A couples therapist and a financial planner are frequently needed for recovery in order to ensure that there will be some accountability moving forward. ”.
Money can cause stress in relationships in a variety of ways, but Slater and Gordon also discovered other marital problems. The top 10 problems sending relationships into separationville are listed below.
22 percent financial stress.
Yes, more than a fifth chose the tried-and-true excuse of financial pressure. Money continues to cause arguments in relationships, whether they are about not having enough, one partner spending excessively, or differences in money management methods.
Workplace Stress: 21%.
It’s interesting that work stress came in at a close second despite the fact that money is the main cause of divorce. Work stress was a significant issue for more than one fifth of respondents, just 1% less popular than money problems.
Domestic responsibilities make up 16%.
Sometimes it’s the little things, or the little things that add up to a really big thing. Household duties were ranked third, so it stands to reason that a clean home would likely make people happier.
Spending Insufficient Time Together: 14%.
There isn’t much that can replace quality time, and if you don’t have any, your relationship may start to suffer. It stands to reason that 14% of respondents claimed that major relationship tension was brought on by insufficient quality time spent together.
14 percent lack of sex.
Keep that flame burning; it’s crucial. It is not surprising that 14% of respondents claimed that their lack of sex was causing them to grow apart. If you’re a sexual person, the relationship may suffer if the intimacy is lost. And it’s not always simple to get back into the habit if you break it.
12 percent of disputes involve relatives.
We all should be able to get along, but it seems impossible because in 13% of cases, relatives were the main source of conflict.
11 percent of them believe their partner isn’t affectionate.
According to 11% of respondents, the main issue was that their partner no longer showed them affection. That seems like it could cover a lot of ground — sex, intimacy, thoughtfulness, and just being a decent person.
9% have various interests.
You should maintain your independence in a relationship, but you also need to share some interests. Having disparate interests was the death knell for 9% of people.
Parenting Disagreements: 7%.
I wasn’t surprised to learn that 7 percent of respondents found disagreements over parenting to be enough to sever their relationship because dealing with children is not an easy task.
