Since every couple is so unique, nothing is 100% certain, but there are a few things that are more likely to end your long-term relationship. Some issues can bring down even the healthiest couple if you don’t know what to look out for or how to avoid one. Therefore, the more you are aware of these fight-starting, LTR-destroying issues, the better.
Fortunately, a lot of research is being done to figure out what will probably kill a couple. There are also many experts who observe the same issues recur repeatedly with negative outcomes.
But first, let’s talk about what can maintain a long-term relationship’s health.
According to relationship expert Rhonda Milrad, LMSW, “the secret to a long-term relationship is flexibility.”.
“A relationship is made up of two people who work together as a team while maintaining some of their individual identities.
The two of them are distinct yet united.
Each individual can develop and the relationship can adapt to these changes when it is strong and dynamic.
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A rigidity can cause problems the moment it exists, especially if it is not discussed.
Sadly, a long-term relationship can also fail.
Here are some issues and behaviors that experts say are most likely to cause your long-term relationship to fail.
1.
Uneven Goals.
You and your partner don’t necessarily need to have the same objectives, but it is crucial that you are moving in the same general direction. Because if you’re not, conflicts and fights will break out. It can be challenging to find a compromise when two people have such divergent life goals, according to Milrad. It’s frequently a recipe for disaster unless you’re both wholly committed to finding a middle ground.
Infidelity.
If both of you are willing to put in the effort, you can recover from a cheating incident. However, it almost always causes a long-term relationship to end in divorce. According to Milrad, “Betrayal tears at the core of a relationship, making it difficult for a couple to recover trust.”. “Many couples lack the fortitude and tolerance required to navigate the healing process, which involves stages of hurt, anger, suspicion, reassurance, etc. (in order to repair the relationship. “.
Incompatibility on a sexual level.
You and your partner can work to maintain the spark in your relationship by making improvements to your sexual life. There is nothing you can do if there is simply no sexual chemistry between two people, which is typically caused by different sex drives. According to licensed counselor Jonathan Bennett, it can be challenging for partners with vastly different sex drives to maintain a committed relationship. If partners can’t agree on the frequency and type of sexual expression, one or both of them may easily become frustrated and unfulfilled. ”.
Continuing family problems.
While you and your partner are the only people in your relationship, outside factors sometimes make things more challenging. like a family problem. According to April Masini, a relationship expert, “there is never a solid base from which to tackle normal problems when you bring unhealthy relationships with your parents and children — or your partner brings them — into a new relationship. It’s worth the extra time and effort to get your relationships with your parents and your children healthy — and to choose someone who’s done the same.
It’s a slow, miserable road to ruin.
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5. Low sense of self-worth.
Your relationship won’t end because of low self-esteem.
Its adverse effects, however, might.
In a long-term relationship, it can be challenging to maintain low self-esteem and control issues, according to Masini. “People with low self-esteem experience insecurity and jealousy, and they use control to try and control these emotions. Being in a relationship with someone like this is very challenging. Therefore, things frequently come to an end.
Lack of intimacy.
It can really wear on a relationship over time if you two aren’t being intimate in every sense of the word. “Intimacy is a physical and emotional experience. According to relationship counselor and dating expert Samantha Burns, M.A, “it’s a closeness, connection, and comfort in knowing each other deeply.”. LMHC speaks with Bustle. “Intimacy gives you the impression that you matter and that your partner prioritizes your emotional well-being. You won’t want to stay here without that, either of you.
disregarding one another.
Even though it’s impossible to be perfect, neither of you should develop the habit of ignoring the other, even when it’s just a small issue. According to [relationship expert] Dr. John Gottman’s research, disengaging from or ignoring your partner when they request your attention can be detrimental to the health of your marriage, says Burns. “If your partner asks you what you want for dinner and you just flat out ignore [them] or you ask [them] to watch a funny cat video and [they say] ‘Be quiet, I’m busy,’ it feels like a micro-rejection that over time can wear on your relationship and make you feel alone. ”.
8. Arguments that don’t hold up.
Disputes will arise throughout your relationship. And that’s all right. Couples that are unable to handle them effectively are the only ones who separate. According to John Gottman’s more than 40 years of research, “the number one way that will end your relationship is how you handle conflict,” says relationship therapist, author, and speaker Sarah Madras to Bustle. These behaviors have been shown to make things significantly worse, such as isolating one another or calling each other derogatory names when arguing.
an absence of faith.
One of the most significant ways to destroy trust in your relationship is to cheat. However, it’s not the only approach. Madras claims that “it’s all the little moments in relationships.”. “Trust is the substance that holds relationships together, according to research on Brené Brown’s BRAVING Model. Trust is made up of the following elements: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgement, and Generosity. “Your relationship may suffer if you or your SO lack these characteristics.
Ineffective Boundaries.
You are a couple, that much is true.
However, it does not follow that you should or can work as a team. Things are more likely to fall apart if you don’t establish healthy boundaries or take time for yourself, for instance. According to Madras, she frequently encounters couples who are unaware of their own boundaries and who are shocked, hurt, and offended when their partner crosses one of those boundaries. Establishing these early on will keep you both on the same page and prevent resentment.
