Despite overcoming many challenges, Jake and Mary Jacobs celebrated their beautiful marriage of 70 years this year.
In the city where Mary, a White woman, and Jake, a Black man, lived in 1940s Britain, Jake was one of the few black men.
It would have been simple for Mary to leave, but she had fallen in love and would do anything to stay with her beloved in defiance of her father’s wishes.
When I told my father I was planning to wed Jake, he retorted, “You won’t step foot in this house again if you wed that man”.
When Jake immigrated from Trinidad during the war, they first met at the same technical college where Mary was taking typing and shorthand classes, and he had just completed his Air Force training.
Mary, who resided in Lancashire then, and Jake initiated a conversation. Mary was impressed by Jake’s comprehension of Shakespeare.
He and his companion invited Mary and her friend to join them for a picnic. Still, a passing motorist saw them and informed Mary’s father of their presence because she was alarmed to see two English ladies conversing with black boys. Mary was not allowed to go back and see her father.
They corresponded via letters after Jake returned to Trinidad, and a few years later, Jake moved to the United Kingdom in search of a higher-paying job.
When Mary was 19, Jake asked her to be his girlfriend. She said yes, but her family forbade her from telling anyone about it.
“When I left, all I had was a single piece of small luggage”.
Mary didn’t realise that the rest of society shared her father’s ‘horror’ over the prospect of her getting married to a black man.
“Our first couple of years of marriage were miserable in Birmingham; I cried every day and hardly ate. We had no one to talk to, no place to live because no one would rent to a black man, and no money. “.
Mary and I found crossing the street difficult because onlookers frequently point.
When Mary found out she was expecting, the couple was thrilled about the possibility of starting a family. However, at eight months, Mary gave birth to a stillborn child.
But it crushed my heart, and we never had any more kids,” she continued, “and it wasn’t related to the stress I was under”.
Their lives did improve when Jake found employment with the Post Office, and Mary found work as a teacher, eventually rising to assistant principal of a British school.
They made new friends, though Mary admitted feeling compelled to tell people that her husband was black before introducing them to him.
She said, “My father passed away when I was 30, and though we had made up by then, he never approved of Jake.
Currently residing in Solihull, a town south of Birmingham, are Jake, 89, and Mary, 84. They just recently commemorated their 70th wedding anniversary.
Jake claims he has no regrets, but he also asserts that black youth today are unaware of the circumstances that existed for him in 1940s Britain.
“I experience abuse every day”.
After I arrived in the UK, I endured abuse every single day. Once on a bus, a man ran his hands over my neck to see if the dirt would come off. He said, “I wanted to check”.
And you couldn’t work in an office back then because it wasn’t deemed safe for a black man to be around all the white girls”.
Despite the challenges, prejudice, and abuse, the couple is still genuinely in love and doesn’t look back on their marriage. Over 70 years into their marriage, they are still going strong.
Because of their love for one another, these two are beautiful inspirations, and I wish them a lifetime of happiness.
